Post #34- Feeling Myself!

As a child I always had a heart for the little guy….the underdog.  If I were honest, it’s likely because I identified with being misunderstood and the outsider. In fact, when everyone else loved Mickey (Mouse, that is), you could count on me to be on Team Donald! I can even remember being in knots, nearly to the point of tears, as Dumbo (the elephant) was jeered and humiliated by the crowd, ha! While the grown up me can laugh at those memories, there’s actually something I can learn from the 5 year old me. From an early age, I knew how to feel, and in some ways I’m trying to fully recapture that ability.

In today’s blog, I continue unpacking the “Feel” from the popular prescription of “Feel…Deal….and Heal” and in doing so I want to simply articulate how important it is to do just that…actually feel the emotions as they bubble up within us.

Yesterday’s post encouraged us to actually see the reality of our situation and to accept it for what it was (as a precursor to actually trying to change it or do anything about it), and in doing so I want to briefly add that we should actually feel the emotions that come with that realization.

See, before we can deal or heal any situation or part of ourselves (as the model describes), we must first feel it. Yes, a part of “feeling” actually means to acknowledge/accept the reality of what it is and then it means to literally feel the emotions this reality ignites. Sounds easy enough, right? It is pretty easy because it’s the natural flow of our consciousness, however most people are:

 1. Not awake to the true emotions they’re experiencing, often confusing them with other motives and feelings. We often wrestle with our internal life (but as I reminded us a couple of days ago, as we are on the inside, so our life will be on the outside). This leaves us not knowing what we want or what we need and how to tell the difference between the two. We’ve refused to accept, i.e. tell ourselves the truth about what really is; therefore we unconsciously harbor hidden motives and false pretenses. Instead, we must get clear about what it is we really intend for ourselves and for each action we take…we must get clear about the “stuff” that’s going on inside of us, and if we’re feeling anxiety, envy, trepidation, or fear (for example), we must recognize it and then get clear why it’s there and what it can teach us about ourselves.

2. Secondly, most people are made so uncomfortable or vulnerable by what they feel that they try to stuff or numb the emotion. We frequently hold the emotion, trying to control what it is and how it is experienced. We often do this by numbing…through shopping, eating, gossip, criticism, complaining, arguing, abusing drugs or overindulgence in alcohol, sex, etc. All of these are ways we try to stuff or numb our feelings. On the contrary, emotions are not suppose to be stifled, they are suppose to come….be experienced and then move through us. They are literally “e”nergy in “motion,” or e-motions. However, when we fear them, hold on to them, stuff them, try to control them or numb them, we hold them captive, only to allow them to do damage to our spiritual, mental and even physical self.

While we live in a society that often tells us to mask our true emotions or deny them their rightful place in our human experience, emotions are healthy and can be VERY helpful in figuring out what it is we really want and need along this journey. So, I suggest that you LITERALLY  “feel.” Feel the full joy, pain, excitement, or devastation of whatever experience you encounter. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” Then ask, “Why am I feeling it” And also, “What is it telling me about me?”

Take it from me, getting quiet with yourself and really examining what you feel will be of immense help on your path to healing, clarity and wholeness.  For….

This is not the end of your story. Your best days are not behind you; they are ahead of you.  You must be aware of your feelings and thereby allow them to move through you, not remain hostage to do damage within us. Don’t let them simmer and boil over rather recognize them and experience the fullness of them, learn from them and allow them to move through you, leading you on the way to dealing and healing and all of the #bigthingscoming.

“Feeling” Myself,

~Ray

NOTE: If you’re new to the site it might be helpful to read my first introductory post. Also, feel free to post your questions or comments here and you can always reach out to me on Twitter @raycjordan using the hash tag #bigthingscoming.

(Copyright, 2013, Ray Jordan)