Post #74- Living the Simple Life: Keep on Keepin' on!

Listen Here and/or Read Below

Why can’t life be simple? Actually, I believe it can be, but we must first recognize there’s a difference between simple and easy. To create a simple life includes being clear on who you are, what you are called to do and be in the world and living from that deep sense of authenticity. In turn, this will allow all other added pressures and expectations to fall to the side. If we can do this….viola! We’ll have a simple life….It’s simple…but it sure ain’t easy.

Yesterday I had a poolside chat with friends during which I explained that life is not linear as we would likely assume, but it is cyclical (Eastern religion and philosophy has always pointed this out). Our lives aren’t a consecutive series of events but rather cyclical patterns meant to teach us, evolve us, and pull us into our best selves. In other words, God, the great teacher, never fails us….we’re just given the same exam over and over and over again until we learn the lesson and pass the test. So, in order to have the “simple life” which in my estimation is truly the good life, we must become aware of the patterns of our life and identify any issue, hurt or behavior that seems to periodically rear its ugly head.

This week I suffered a great disappointment and while the disappointment involves other people I in no way place my feelings and experience at their feet. Instead I own it as a pattern or cycle I need to recognize and process. All I have ever wanted in life is to be loved….truly and genuinely cared for (but isn’t that really what we all want). This pattern of feeling unloved began early as I often felt both abandoned by my parents and isolated from and rejected by my peers. As a result, my whole life has been spent trying to belong to “that” group.

As a child that group was my white peers who never let me forget that I was black. As an adolescent that group was my circle of black friends, who never quite let me forget that I wasn’t black enough or masculine enough. As a young adult that group was a church of fundamental Pentecostals for whom I molded myself into a dynamic Pentecostal preacher. Here I actually felt most at home because church has always been my refuge, yet I regularly felt like an imposter…a fish out of water because I was gay. Today that group is the “gays” with their funny ways and impossible expectations. They have a language that’s all their own and an incredible judgmental-ness that worships fashion, youth, external appearance and a self-indulgent party culture that can eat you up and spit you out if you’re not careful. Now, I say none of this as a harsh judgment, but simply to share the deep pain I have experienced trying to be a part of that group, whichever group it may be at the time.

I have long come to the conclusion that I will never be a part of that group, nor this group or their group, while I do feel connected to many of them in some way I know I will never be a card-carrying member. This recognition, while sobering, doesn’t necessarily soften the pain of being left out, neglected or even rejected; nor does it necessarily comfort the blow of unmet expectations, hurt feelings, and moments of confusion and loneliness.

So, what is one to do? I guess the only thing one can do: Live a simple life. Keep living…keep loving and keep being yourself. If you’re (I’m) misunderstood…so be it. If you’re (I’m) a really good friend but you never seem to receive the same kind of friendship in return…so be it. If you (I)  never seem to fit into any particular group because you’re (I’m) just a little too big for the confines of limited stereotypes and rigid cliques, keep being yourself, (myself) because in the words of Dr. Keith Kent, and made famous by Mother Teresa:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and some true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight.
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough.
Give the best you've got anyway.

You see, 
in the final analysis it is between you and God;
it was never between you and them anyway.

Furthermore….This is not the end of our story. Our best days are not behind us; they are ahead of us. Keep your head up and keep on keepin’ on , so you’ll ready to receive all of the #bigthingscoming.

NOTE: If you’re new to the site it might be helpful to read the first (introductory) post. Also, feel free to post your questions or comments here and you can always reach out to me on Twitter @raycjordan using the hash tag #bigthingscoming.

(Copyright, 2014, Ray Jordan)