Post #45- Control Freak

Today I want to end our conversation on “letting go.” As always, I’ve been humbled by the messages of encouragement and affirmation from those who follow the blog and have taken the time to let me know how they’ve enjoyed it. I simply respond by saying, “If God can use my little ol' raggedy life and the lessons I’ve learned along the way to help someone else, be my guest!” Again, you’re always invited to post a comment here and hopefully create a dialogue with others, beause I believe we are stronger and wiser together than we are apart.

Over the past week I’ve shared my curiosity and thoughts surrounding the notion,  “Let Go and Let God.”  I’ve heard this saying most of my life (primarily in Christian circles, although it has become more universal in recent years), therefore I accepted it at face value without much thought or consideration. However, as I’ve begun to live a more mindful life, one that is awake and aware, I have begun to give more thought and attention to the clichés I previously took for granted. Such is the case with the adage, “Let Go and Let God.”

What does “Let Go” really mean, and furthermore, how can it be accomplished? I’ve lifted many areas that I think overwhelmingly confront us in this crazy, busy, complicated, hurried life we live (if you haven’t read the past several posts, please do; I think they’ll help you). However, today I sum it all up in one word, control.

If we are to let God be God; if we are to embrace the miraculous, the joyous, the spontaneous, the healing, the reconciling, the beautiful, and the loving (better known, collectively, as God), we must learn to let go and primarily to let go of control.

This, again, is one of the great paradoxes of life. Are we to be unmotivated, lazy, passive, dependent, inactive or unengaged in our own lives? I would resoundingly say “NO!” In fact, I believe we are co-creators with God, meaning God invites and in many ways requires our participation. God has given us great depths of resources within the world as well as our very soul, thereby it’s incumbent upon us to tap into that potential and live a life that is authentically meaningful and powerful. Nevertheless, in the great scope of things, we must surrender control, and trust that God/the Universe knows what’s best, not only for us, but for others as well.

During the summer I offered a post entitled, “Go with the Flow.” For more, you can look to that post, however, here, I want to simply remind us that in order to receive God’s best, we have to surrender our best. In other words, God can dream a dream for us, bigger than we can dream for ourselves. So, in the midst of planning and organizing, please leave some room for God. Please be awake and aware to what you’re feeling and hearing, so that when the Spirit moves you’ll be flexible and nimble, ready to make the shift.

No doubt, letting go of control can be scary, but scary is where faith resides. See, we can’t call it faith if there’s no element of uncertainty, vulnerability and risk. If you have it all figured out, with no room for mystery and discovery, then call what you do something else, because it’s not faith. Faith can be scary, risky and even heart wrenching, but the seeds of our faith always reaps a harvest of God’s best. The investment of letting go, renders the return of letting God.

Though I’ve learned this within my own life planning, the most challenging application of this lesson has been in my relationships with others. I had to come to the realization that everyone has a journey…. a uniquely individualized course of study, and just because I wanted someone to change or be different, didn’t mean they were ready to and in fact didn’t even mean they needed to. Similarly, by both vocation and calling I am an academic, a teacher, preacher, life coach, and spiritual adviser. However, I’ve learned (and am still learning) how to balance these core attributes of who I am with the requirements of healthy interpersonal personal relationships. Meaning, sometimes the people in my life just need a friend, coworker, cousin, son, lover, or brother ……… and not Ivanlya Vanzant! Hahaha! I’m learning how to allow people to “be” and simply lead by example, and not by decree. I’ve learned (and am still learning) how to allow God to use my presence and who I am to speak, rather than my trying to “fix” everyone’s problems.

So, I encourage you to do a gut check! Internally, are you tied in knots? Do you feel frustrated, anxious, fearful or angry? If so, pay attention and feel. These emotions are good indicators that there are areas of life for which you need to relinquish control. Intellectually concede to this point, commit to a life free of manipulation and control of others, and emotionally rid yourself of control’s presence (this can be done through yoga, meditation, prayer, exercise, counseling, etc….. you can look to an earlier post where I discuss my own meditation practice for some helpful hints).  Because….

This is not the end of your story. Your best days are not behind you; they are ahead of you.  Know that every detail of your path can’t be planned, so let go of the anxiety of trying to do so. Likewise, know that other folk are, too, on their own journey; so don’t misconstrue helpfulness with a veiled attempt to manipulate and control their decisions and life choices. Finally, know that surrender is a daily commitment and act of meditation/worship. So, learn how to “be” and ultimatley led to all of the #bigthingscoming.

NOTE: If you’re new to the site it might be helpful to read the first (introductory) post. Also, feel free to post your questions or comments here and you can always reach out to me on Twitter @raycjordan using the hash tag #bigthingscoming.

(Copyright, 2013, Ray Jordan)