Self-Discovery

“Your 20s are about finding yourself. Your 30s are about proving yourself, but your 40s are about wanting to be left alone and not caring about what other people say.” ~ My Therapist

Recently I spoke publicly about seeing a therapist (I wanted to do my part in combating any stigma about seeking counseling). Granted, it was at the suggestion of a good friend who knew I was going through a lot of transition in several areas of life. So, he suggested I go get a “tune up.” The above quote came from my conversation with said counselor and while it’s a generalization it did resonate with me but with some exception.

I have spent a large (too large) portion of my life in angst around the thoughts and expectations of others. As a typical oldest child overachiever, my “role” in the family was to balance the system by being a do-gooder. Somehow in my young mind, if I performed well or behaved perfectly, I could fix the dysfunction of my family. While as an adult I can intellectually understand this is not true I have to admit that old habits die hard. So, as I enter a new decade I have a newfound commitment to being authentic, following the desire of my own heart and living my best life.

One of the most surprising parts of this new decade and my new commitment is self-discovery. Yes, our 20s may be about finding ourselves, but for me (and I can imagine for many of you) that self-discovery doesn’t end there. I have been stunned by simple things I have come to know about myself recently. I have said multiple time, “I can’t believe I didn’t know that about myself” or “Duh! Of course that’s what I like/want!”

There is a strong impulse within American society to conform, be uniform and shut up and go along to get along. A lot of this is connected to our unhealthy obsession with capitalism and materialism and the need of the capitalist machine to line us up like mindless sheep led to the slaughter in order to fuel the retail economy. However, I have come to believe that the risk of being authentic is worth any possible consequences.

This blog, however, isn’t just about me. I wonder which ways you have quenched the spirit of your soul in order to conform. What ways have you listened to the voices of the peanut gallery instead of following your own passion and heart’s desire? Personally, I have oft wondered what I would be or what my life would be if I had had the appropriate love and support to free me to be me. Nevertheless, the woudla-coulda-shouldas help no one. All any of us have is the now. So, my commitment is to really learn myself while also freeing myself to fully embrace the person I find.

My grandmother was fond of making the distinction between living and merely existing. Friends, unequivocally I want to LIVE!! Live my best life and as far I know my only one. Don’t you? Yet, to do so I think we must fully face the obstacles that prevent us from following this path. Underneath it all I wonder what mental, emotional and/or spiritual impulses prevent us from being our truest self. What are we so afraid of? Is it that we’re afraid of where our deepest passions might lead us? What they could lead us to do and risks they might lead us to take?

This I know for sure. There is something on the other side of where we are. Listen to me and listen to me closely. This is only for those whose restless heart KNOWS there must be more. You are right; there is more. More love, more joy, more peace, more excitement, more gratitude, more satisfaction, more justice, more fulfillment, more YOU.

Don’t be afraid of you. Allow your heart to soar. Find your muse and follow it. I certainly am. There is an expression of God that can only be manifested through our individual lives and personalities. So, get about expressing God through your divine self! And remember that the best is not behind us, it's ahead of us and there are #bigthingscoming.