Listen Here and/or Read Below
(forgive my congestion)
“You are—and have always been—and will forever be, enough.”
~Klay
Willaims,
Author,
Lifestyle Consultant, and my Friend
Ok everyone; we’re a little
more than a month into the New Year! So…how’s it going? I don’t know about you,
but I began 2014 with a renewed sense of hope and purpose. I was so ready for
change in the new year I dedicated a whole blog series to it (see Posts
#66-71). However, as many of you know, transition isn’t always simple and just
because it’s necessary and good doesn’t make it easy.
Please don’t’ misunderstand me,
I am no less excited and prepared for the #bigthingscoming as I was a month
ago. However I am also aware that if one values peace in their life, you
must be intentional about obtaining it; and believe me, the first six weeks of
2014 have offered ample opportunity for me to lose peace and embrace anxiety,
worry, frustration, and conflict.
One of my favorite scriptures
is found in Psalms 34:14. It reads:
“Turn from Evil and do good. Seek peace and
pursue it.”
Peace is something most
desire and all need, but what does it mean and how do we achieve it? I
love this scripture, primarily because it not only places value on the presence
of peace but also suggests that desiring it isn’t enough. Rather, one must be
intentional about making space for peace. Indeed we must seek and pursue it.
Author Steven Pressfield suggests that every time we set out in any
noble direction, there is always resistance or push back we must overcome to
achieve greatness. When I was growing up in church I used to hear them say “new
levels, new devils.” In any case, as I began to prepare a new series on “peace”
for the weekly Sunday School class I teach, I seemed to either serendipitously
or through a series of unfortunate events, be faced with emotions and
circumstances that were antagonistic to a life of inner peace.
For example, last weekend my daughter auditioned for acceptance into a
local arts magnet high school. While sitting and waiting with other parents, I
struck up a conversation a lovely lady whose daughter was also auditioning for
the theatre department. As we casually chatted she began to share that her daughter
was currently attending a local private school with an international focus. She
also shared that, subsequently, her daughter, an 8th grader, was
fluent in French. During the course of the conversation she also shared that
her ex-husband was a cardiovascular surgeon who also had a PhD in molecular
biology and that she, though not completely satisfied with her career, was a
well-paid member of the corporate world. While this mother was not at all
pretentious, the more she shared the smaller I became. The more perfect her
family appeared, the more inadequate I felt and the more I feared that my
daughter, too, was not ‘enough.’
So, during the course of our conversation, though I did not lie
directly, I alluded that I had already completed my PhD. While I am working very hard to finish
my dissertation this year (it should have been finished last year) I am not yet
finished, but felt compelled to say I was. This was done, not to make myself
feel better, but in hopes that I wouldn’t “appear” to be so insufficient in
contrast.
When I left
that place my soul was troubled. Me, of all people,….the one who teaches and
preaches and blogs about and believes fiercely that one’s value is not found in
the extrinsic trappings of materialism and status symbols, I ßfell to ego’s
temptation. I was so ashamed…I’m still ashamed.
When I got home, I simply wanted to weep. I wanted to not only weep
out of regret and repentance for speaking mistruth…but out of the sympathy I
felt for the little boy still in pain. The feelings of insecurity and
inadequacy were merely a symptom of childhood pain I’m, apparently, still
healing.
I don’t know about you, but I’m determined to be healed! I refuse to
allow the pain of the past to wreak havoc in the promise of my future. I WILL
HAVE PEACE!! And the process, the path begins now.
I believe wholeheartedly
that we are living in eternity now.
Eternity means infinity, or time without beginning or end. Therefore, we don’t
have to “wait” for God to move or God to heal or God to change or God to bless.
God is indeed moving, healing, changing, blessing now and its up to us to join that movement and step into that flow.
I know all things are lessons to be learned, purely invitations for us to live
our best lives and rise a to our highest good. Therefore, the path to peace,
whether through comfortable or uncomfortable means, begins right now, if only
I’ll take it.
For the next few posts I’d like to continue this conversation
surrounding peace (please join by posting comments in the comment section
below). Peace with God, peace with ourselves and peace with others. There’s
healing yet to be experienced….and even when you know that you know…there’s
another level of knowing yet to be known. For…
This is not the end of my
story. My best days are not behind me; they are ahead of me. I will seek peace. I will pursue it.
The pain of the past will not rob me of it, the path of deliverance will lead
me to it for I’m positioning myself for all of the #bigthingscoming.
NOTE: If you’re new to the site it might be helpful to read
the first (introductory) post. Also, feel free to post your questions or
comments here and you can always reach out to me on Twitter @raycjordan using
the hash tag #bigthingscoming.
(Copyright,
2014, Ray Jordan)
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