Post #67- Change, Part 1: Don't Waste Your Pain

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“The Only Thing that is Constant is Change” 

~Heraclitus of Ephesus

As a child I remember hearing adults describe individuals who otherwise seemed harmless and benevolent but in reality possessed some harmful or dangerous character flaw, as a “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing.” I, like most of you, can also remember hearing the proverbial warning, “Everything that Glitters Ain’t Gold” and “Never Judge a Book by its Cover.” All of these, in most cases, are used to describe something or someone that is initially seen or understood as one thing, but in fact may be something very different. As simple or sophomoric as it may sound, this is exactly the image I challenge you to take into the New Year.

I’m not proclaiming myself to be clairvoyant or prophetic (though I believe such abilities exist and I have experienced both), but for the last couple of months I have sensed change in the air. And because I don’t feel I’m the only one who is ready and even desperate for change, I’d like to discuss change, better yet transition, and how it may present itself in our lives (through my own unique lens of course).

In my last post I offered the words of Carlton Pearson, “you’re not in trouble, you’re in transition.” This is where I’d like to start our conversation today. I want to suggest that we readjust the lens through which we see and interpret our life. Meaning, we must first realize that the power to change, the ability to transition from one metaphorical place to another is always at hand. In fact it’s in our hands. There is always a possibility for healing, redemption and higher consciousness that results in a better life. However, it all begins with a shift in perception.

If you have ever heard me speak in a variety settings, it’s likely that you’ve heard me mention this before, because it’s one of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned in my own life. The ability to see what is happening “to” you as actually happening “for” you has the inherent power to offer healing and thereby catapult your life in ways unimaginable. As Wayne Dyer suggests, “if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

This is particularly true as it relates to the most painful experiences of life. I know this is a hard truth and one most of us (me included) don’t always enjoy hearing, but I’d like to suggest that you consider or reconsider your most difficult life experiences. I challenge you to embrace the notion that no pain is wasted. In fact, if we can garner the courage to move beyond the self-centered defense mechanisms of the ego, we’ll find that our most challenging experiences can actually serve a purpose. Yes, indeed, there is purpose and power in our pain.

If I can say it simply, Don’t Waste Your Pain! Don’t spend one drop of energy complaining or feeling self-pity. Don’t spend one precious moment blaming others for anything (even if their actions have offended or hurt you). All of these are ways in which we waste our pain and squander our hardships. Instead, I challenge you to see your circumstances, past and present, differently. Instead, begin seeing your challenges, no matter how painful, as a meeting place between you and the Divine.

No, we wouldn’t haven chosen it or voluntarily wanted to endure it, but do envision life’s difficulties as an invitation to knowingness. What ever hardship, past or present, ask yourself, 1) What has this situation taught me about me; 2) What has this situation taught me about life and lastly 3) What has this situation taught me about God/The Universe/The Divine.

Each difficulty has something to teach. Is every problem designed by “God” to teach us something? I can’t say, but probably not. However, I can say in all certainty that if we allow ourselves to learn from each experience, painful or otherwise, we will emerge enlightened, empowered and wiser for it. Also, I can witness that, in fact, often what we see as a hardship, isn’t that at all, but an opportunity designed to teach us, mold us, strengthen us and lead us to our wealthy place, a place of spiritual, emotional, social and financial abundance. So, don’t be discouraged and don’t misjudge the difficult circumstances of life. In other words, don’t judge the book by its cover.

Life can be hard and our ego spends most of its time dreading and trying to avoid hardship. Understanding this, let’s be intentional about changing our perception. Like me, I’m guessing you’re not out looking for any new problems, but when they come let’s not jump to judgment but let’s consider how our very deliverance might actually be found in the eye of the storm. 

Personally, I fought this spiritual truth for a long time and I still occasionally struggle with the desire for things to be different, or for things to have been different. However, when I do I remind myself that such an endeavor is wasted energy and threatens to waste my pain. Honestly, I’ve been through too much to waste it. I must use it, allowing it to be transformed into a force of power and purpose.

There’s so much more I want to say, but I’m already in danger of making the post too long, so I’ll say more tomorrow and will end today by simply acknowledging that I realize this is, no doubt, a hard truth. It’s not for the weak at heart, but for those who are serious about taking ownership for their own life and are ready for real change.

Change is all around us. We can’t avoid it for it’s truly the only thing that’s constant. So, we can be co-creators of our life and intentional about the change and transition we encounter, or we can rest on the sidelines of life, feeling lost and out control. I choose the former.  For…..

This is not the end of our story. Our best days are not behind us; they are ahead of us. Every experience has value, even the painful ones. We don’t have to freak out; we don’t have to panic, but let’s make a different choice. Let’s be awake and diligent, while listening and looking for all of the #bigthingscoming.

NOTE: If you’re new to the site it might be helpful to read the first (introductory) post. Also, feel free to post your questions or comments here and you can always reach out to me on Twitter @raycjordan using the hash tag #bigthingscoming.

(Copyright, 2014, Ray Jordan)